Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Getz


Arrived in Devonport on Sunday and as usual went straight to the Avis counter to pick up the car keys for the week. I didn't take much notice of the kind of car or even the brand. Just grabbed the keys and ticked and initialled all the appropriate boxes. Picked up my luggage and walked to the car park looking for bay 7.

There are two blocks of bays marked Avis and it took me a little while to find it, probably because I was looking for something a bit bigger than 4 wheelie bins stuck together. "Oh shit" I thought, as I noticed that what seemed to be bay 7 contained a tiny little yellow car. Yes it was a Hyundai Getz and it was mine for the week. Words to describe my initial mental images include cramped, noisy, gutless, and the-Fiat-500-that-George-Segal-drove-in-"A touch of class". My first inkling of what was to come was when I noticed that in their quest for economy, the company had for the firtst time given me a car with a manual gearbox!

From the first, it was like stepping back 30 years (in a good way) a bit like (I imagine) having a 23 year old girlfriend when you're in your 40's. It's small has a wheel in each corner, has front wheel drive, and a high revving transverse mounted engine. Sound familiar?

Some history: My first car, when I was 19 was a Morris 850 (a Mini) that my father bought from my sister and was never registed in my name. Like all first cars there is a lot of affection that is transferred to the Marque. Probably more because of the things that were done in and around it rather than the car itself. The first car is usually associated with a lot of other "firsts". It was cute, cheap to run and free. But it was also noisy, unreliable, difficult to work on, and yes gutless. That little 850cc engine and badly spaced four speed gearbox just wasn't up to the task. Even so, it was the Morris 850 that got me hooked on small front wheel drive cars. I just love the way you can throw them around corners.


My second car - the one that, to this day is still my favorite out of all of the cars I've owned, was a Fiat 127. It too was noisy and unreliable, and I paid far too much for it, but it was like a Mini on steroids. It handled well, had well spaced gears, and could rev forever. It had a slightly bigger engine (903cc i think) and more importantly it was designed by people who knew what they were doing. It was bright red, italian and was all mine.

The Getz is another step up from the Fiat. It has a 1400cc engine and handles brilliantly. When driving you just have to remember that the engine is small compared to most cars, and increase the revs to compensate. The only annoying feature I've found so far is the nanny-state-gear-switch which won't let you start the car unless the clutch is engaged, even if it's in neutral. I once drove a VW Beetle that wouldn't start with the clutch engaged because the heavy clutch spring put too much load on the battery. It just doesn't seem right starting an engine in any other way than in neutral with your foot off the clutch.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

New World Currency

The new measure of world currency is to be the phurphy. Being based on the balance point between the laws of physics and Murphy's law.

For each country the exchange rate is calculated thus:

1 phurphy = the value of 1 square metre of carpet

The particular carpet is selected using the following apparatus.

First take a cat and strap to its back a slice of toast, buttered side up, then drop it to the floor from a height of two metres. The cat will use the laws of physics to land feet first. The toast will use the laws of Murphy to land buttered side down. Obviously the way in which it lands will be determined by the value of the carpet on which it lands. By increasing the value of the carpet used at each attempt, eventually the cat will land on its side. Then the forces of physics and Murphy are seen to be in equilibrium.

This will set the values of the new world currency in each country based on natural laws, rather than the arbitrary market driven mumbo jumbo that the economists would have us all believe is the accepted norm.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

The Perfect Night In.

Vegetarian Singapore noodles, Magners, and Stargate SG1 on the telly. It doesn't get any better than this.